After my mother’s death some of us family members started sharing stories about our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins that had passed away. It was surprising how we all seemed to only have a piece of the family story and about each event we had experienced. The more cousins and siblings I spoke to about a family event the more surprised I was that my perspective was limited by what I was told or had seen. Many of my memories were one sided and based on a child’s perspective.
Unraveling The Mystery
As I was growing up, we did not talk about our feelings and thoughts. If there was trouble or bad feelings between individuals to “keep the peace” things went unsaid and often times unresolved. Speaking to other family members broadened my perspective about these events in my life. Speaking to God about these events, my feeling and thoughts from my childhood has enriched my life. God used both good and bad memories to bless me and helped me see talking about my memories with God and human beings were for my benefit. Unresolved feelings were a breeding ground for bitterness and working through my feelings helped me heal. I was finally able to let go of some childhood bitterness.
Seek God First
My sister had started a book club for Inner Healing and Spiritual Growth. One aspect of Dobsons’ book was dealing with the healing of memories and working through the forgiveness process while walking with Christ Jesus. God was helping me get inner healing through the process of writing in the 3rd person about some of my childhood memories. I found that talking to siblings and cousins about their perspective helped me piece together a bigger picture of my family puzzle. Praying with God helped me to tie things together as I prayed with Jesus about not only the facts but, how I had wished things had been.
Seeing The Bigger Picture
Each piece of my family puzzle I examined after speaking to a family member enabled me to see those that had died as more complicated individuals. I now realize that they really did do the best they could at that time. Even events where I thought I had done no wrong were reexamined and I was surprised to see that as a human being that I had also added to the family drama because of my own human imperfections. God is merciful and He helped me see that I did the best I could do at that time too. I was able to forgive myself for my own mistakes and bad attitudes.
We All Are Human
I was surprised that some people that I had put on a pedestal were not perfect and some that I considered unlikable were acting out of their own wounds. I had been doing a lot of speculating on why some family members acted the way they did. I had judged and labeled some people harshly. The more perspectives I got from siblings and cousins about what they knew and how they obtained their information had helped me realize I needed to stop judging others. I decreased my need to speculate on the motives behind family member’s actions. I learned truly forgiving others with the help of Jesus is a blessing. Bottom line we are all human and in need of God’s love, mercy and grace.
Telling My Story
I have inherited a bit of my father’s need to spin a story for myself, family and friends. So, I guess there will always be a bit of speculation in all of my stories as I try and fit together the puzzle pieces of my life and how I fit into my family puzzle. Telling my story to God is rewarding for me because, His perspective is not influenced by unrealistic desires and speculations.
Personal Rewards
The wider my perspective becomes the easier it is to become more empathetic towards others and even towards myself. When our Heavenly Father and Jesus started helping me see things from God’s perspective as well, I began to heal in areas of my life where I had been unable to forgive myself and others. I was surprised to learn that forgiving myself was an important part of the family puzzle in Christ Jesus. Learning to forgive myself helped me fit into my family better and accept the love of God better.
Prayer for Our Unique Place
Lord God Almighty, please sanctify my extended family, friends and me through Christ Jesus as we come to You for Your Perspective. Help us fit together as the family of God we are through Your Messiah. Help us pray each other up as we would want to be prayed for. Help us find our unique place in Your Kingdom and bring You the glory and praise You so richly deserve. Make us all be rich in the Spirit of Your love, mercy and grace so that Your blessings for us overflows into the lives of the people we come into contact with. Help me remember I am a unique piece of the puzzle in Your plans, and I am dearly loved and valued by You. Thank You for helping me grow in obedience, wisdom, love and truth through Your Holy Word in Christ Jesus. Thank You for helping me to forgive and stop judging others with such condemnation and continue to do better. Lord God Almighty, I love You and I am so grateful for all of Your many blessings. Be glorified in our lives and through our love for You. Amen.