I had managed to go my whole life without getting any type of traffic ticket. When you get to be a Grandma without getting a traffic ticket, then you think you never will. At least that is what I thought. It was a beautiful sunny day and there was hardly any traffic, and I kept getting all green lights. I did not have to stop for even one red light. I was surprised because there were so many lights on this street. Was I being blessed?
What We Think We Know
The street I was on was a familiar street. I always hated having to stop for all the red lights on that street. I usually didn’t drive near the mall due to all of the traffic lights and congested traffic. Today, I had no choice, I needed to. I remembered that right after passing the mall there was a 10 mile an hour drop in the speed limit. An old favorite song came on the radio and I had to sing along to the classic. No traffic, all green lights, beautiful weather and a favorite song made me so happy. I felt so blessed.
As I got near the bottom of the hill past the mall, I remembered the speed limit change. I could not remember seeing the sign. I started slowing down. I saw the police car up the next hill waiting for speeders. I wondered if I had managed to slow down in time. I was curious that the speed limit sign was not where I remembered it. I went up the hill past the police car. I put on my blinker to go left.
Flashing Blue Lights
The police car pulled out onto the street. He followed me as I changed lanes. I had another green light. Well, it was green. Just as I entered the busy Intersection the light turned yellow and quickly red as I was getting out of the Intersection. Then the flashing blue light and accompanying noise scared me. I pulled into a parking lot. I was surprised that the policeman was not giving me a ticket for running a red light, but for speeding. The change in speed limit was no longer where I remembered it. I could have been speeding past the mall for years had it not been for all of the red lights I usually got.
Self-Condemnation
Afterwards, I was upset with myself. I assumed I knew the speed limit. I was in full self-condemnation mode. I was upset about how much the fine was going to be for speeding. However, it was the effect it would have on my car insurance that upset me the most. I told my co-workers at the School where I worked and warned everyone I talked to, about the dangers of happily driving past the mall obvious to the speed limit. I let everyone know where the speed limit change was near the Mall. I was not feeling blessed.
The Love Offering
When I went to my Kindred Spirits, Sunday School Classroom, I also warned them and ask for prayers. I was still upset that I was Guilty and had to suffer the consequences of my guilt. The next Sunday in Church, as I got settled in my pew a member of Kindred Spirits Classroom came up and gave me a white envelope. He explained they did not want to embarrass me in our classroom and wanted to privately give me a Love Offering for my Speeding Ticket. I was speechless at first. I had made it clear that I was guilty. I tried to graciously receive their gift. For a few weeks I struggled privately in prayer excepting their gift, because I was guilty. Was I being blessed?
Feeling Unworthy
After getting the Love Offering, I felt guilty that I had asked for prayer. This group of people were always generous with their prayers, food and love offerings. It was a strange feeling being a receiver of a Love Offering. I was surprised to find that I did not feel like I deserved it. I was embarrassed by my unworthiness. Did I deserve to be blessed?
God also reminded me I had this same attitude a few years earlier when I was an Intern in the Ministry of Caring Office at our Church. A young woman had not paid her electric bill in several months. She had been red flagged in the office and would not be allowed to receive assistance. The Administrator, CJ had compassion on the young woman and was sad she was not going to be able to help. She had researched what the problem was. Bottom line God had me take the woman and pay her electric bill. I had been obedient to God, but I did not have compassion the way CJ had. Did this woman deserve to be blessed? I felt CJ had a type of love or compassion that I lacked. I prayed and asked God for understanding and to change my heart if I was wrong. I needed Him to open my eyes and help me understand.
God’s Timing
It took a few years to see that prayer answered. When I became the receiver of the Love Offering I needed to look at my beliefs deeply and compare them to Scripture. Subconsciously, I thought being guilty meant we should not complain and should just pay for our mistakes. I could hear my Dad’s words, “You made your bed, now lie in it.” I felt that way about the woman years before and I felt that way about myself too. I was raised to think that way. However, God helped me understand that He has mercy on us, even though we are guilty. He also blesses us with not just His Mercy but also His Grace. No one could ever earn God’s Grace, it is unmerited.
Heaven’s Reward
LORD God Almighty, You are the Father of Love, The God of Hope. Sanctify us in Your Holiness through Jesus the Messiah. You continually bless us. Even when we cannot see the blessing, it is there. Open our eyes to see. We did not earn our worthiness to be blessed and could never earn it in our own power. Our worth comes through You and Your Holiness, just because You love us. You teach us through all of our experiences.
In Psalm 22:27 Your Word tells us all the ends of the world shall remember and return to the Lord. That all the Kindred of the Nations shall worship before You. You deserve to be worshiped because You show all of us great mercy and bless us continually with Your unmerited Grace. We owe You our gratitude, love and praises. You make life worth living. You give us expectant Hope to sustain us, until we can see the blessing. Even in our hard times there are hidden blessings waiting to be seen.
I know You have a special way of blessing CJ and the Kindred Spirits Sunday School Class for their many Love Offerings for so many people. Praise You Lord God that I was one of the many. I know they will have many rewards in Heaven, but I also ask for a special blessing here on Earth too. Help me ask for that special blessing according to Your Purpose and Will. Father of Love, allow them to be Rewarded through Anointed Prayers that they may see the Glory of God come down and rest in their Classroom and each Home. That they shall see the mighty Hand of God working in their lives and those they pray for, in such a way that they are in awe of God. Open their eyes to see You and shine on them. Make their lights shine brighter and longer than those around them. Bless those around them for Your Name Sake. Be Glorified as You fill their mouths with Praises of Who You are and what You have done. Amen.