Why can’t we just get along with everyone that professes Faith in God? When I was a young child, my Great Uncle scared me and bullied me spiritually into a false statement of faith in Christ. Then he took credit for saving my soul. After becoming a Christian, I spoke to my dad about having unforgiveness and anger towards our uncle. I felt led to confront my uncle so I could forgive him, and Christians like him. My dad setup the meeting and went with me. I had expected my uncle to be shocked, repent and feel bad that he had wounded a young child.
Not Everyone Repents
My uncle was not sorry. He was angry that I dared to confront him with my wounded childish feelings. My dad had told me that our uncle had a reputation of being prideful and had been warned about it by my grandfather numerous times. It was evident that my uncle had never repented and turned away from his prideful attitude. God still called me to forgive my uncle. I did so dutifully for years in spite of the bitterness in my heart. I thought my bitterness was only due to his lack of empathy. I questioned my uncle’s faith and made the point to never see him again. I thought I was a better Christian than my uncle. God has lovingly reminded me that we are all on equal ground through salvation in Christ.
Take Responsibility for My Part and Let Go
On September 6, 2024 I watched a YouTube Video of Congregation Beth Hallel, Shabbat September 6-7, delivered by Rabbi Solomon. He talked about taking responsibility for even our small parts in Human Conflicts. His message and examples concerning relationship problems made sense logically and spiritually. The Lord used this Sermon to help me see that I had a small responsibility from my conflict with my uncle. I was led by the Lord to Repent and get Mercy for my 1% concerning my conflict with my uncle. Rabbi Solomon pointed out that we need to humble ourselves before God and repent even our small parts in relationship conflicts and move on past the bitterness. It’s all about getting mercy and healing. Rabbi Solomon kept repeating the phrase, “God’s mercy triumphs judgment”. His message was simple even for me; Repent my part and get Mercy.
My Unresolved One Percent Led to Bitterness
God has helped me see that even though my uncle was guilty of Pride and Spiritual Abuse. I was guilty of lacking Human Decency. As a child, I did not speak honestly and wanted to hide that I had lied just to get away from my uncle. I did not respect most of my elders and did not try to understand what they were dealing with. I silently condemned them. I did not want to be like them. I allowed my fears to get a foot hold in my heart, until bitterness and condemnations grew in my heart towards all aggressive Christians.
If Only
If I had gone to my grandfather and confessed my lie told in fear, then I could have gotten the healing I needed then and there instead of years later. My grandfather knew I lied and took action. However, I did not get the healing I needed from telling a lie and feeling guilty for lying. I feared God and didn’t want to be like my imperfect family. I needed to confess my tiny part to get the healing I needed from this event. I did not realize my hurt feelings came from my 1% during this human conflict.
A Deeper Healing
I learned this year that I had to forgive myself first before I could forgive others. Now, I see there was still a little residue of bitterness due to me not taking responsibility for my 1% of the conflict. Obviously, when praying for healing God can go and heal on deeper levels if we allow Him access to our lives.
The Early Church Had Relationship Issues Too
One relationship issue in Philippians 4, between two women, Euodia and Syntche made it into the Bible because people don’t always agree to disagree and move on. Both women were causing division within the synagogue and Paul needed to address the problem. Paul also reminded believers in Romans 12, to live in peace with anyone if it is possible. Where there are humans, there are relationship issues. God wants us all to repent even our little 1%, get His Mercy and enjoy the Healing.
It’s Never Too Late
If you have tried peace and failed, what can you do? Rabbi Solomon’s, Beth Hallel Shabbat, September 6-7th, Sermon on YouTube gave me the answer I needed for peace within my own heart. I can see that by taking responsibility for even my own 1% part in my past conflict with my uncle, it led to my own healing this year. It is never too late to get the healing! My conflict with my uncle was over 60 years ago.
Present and Future Relationships
In present and future life events, I need to try and make peace if it is possible. Even if the person is unrepentant and perhaps full of pride, I still need to ask if the relationship can be salvaged? Can we trust each other and avoid fighting? I should seek God to help me take ownership of my part and repent my part, no matter how small. This way I can get the healing I need and move on to heal or end a relationship. Sounds easy, but our emotions get in the way sometimes.
Some Red Flags That I Might Have More Blame
I had a boss, Pete Petrecca years ago that told us that if we are not part of the solution, then we are part of the problem. If we think that we are totally without fault, we are not being honest with ourselves. Do I think I am surrounded by immature Christians, and they really annoy me? It is actually immature of me to not have compassion on them as Christ does. Sometimes we are blind to the fact that we lack Human Decency. Do I realize I will continue to learn until I close and harden my heart to Christ’s teaching? Do I have a humble and teachable Spirit? If I cannot deal with someone in the Spirit of Christ, can I point them to someone who can?
I Need to Examine Myself
Do I speak the truth, but lack love? Truth without love sounds like condemnation. Do I more often argue with people or lovingly encourage them? Do I need to be in control of what other people say, do or believe? Do I need to justify how I think people should conduct themselves? Do I think I am better than someone else? Am I being a good guest or student in the Kingdom of God and sitting in my proper place? In Luke 14:8 we are warned that we will be embarrassed if we try to take a seat of honor that has not been assigned to us. Am I coveting someone’s position in the Church or Synagogue?
Trust is Important
If only God recorded and played back our conversations; What would we hear? Sometimes our voice tone or volume or a misplaced word can break the peace talks. Trying to take control, scheming or not being honest can damage a relationship. Once we lose someone’s trust it is difficult to win it back. People need to trust us not to wound them.
Remove the Log From My Own Eye First
People do not always hear what we are trying to communicate. Sometimes people are blind to the log in their own eye as they try to take a speck of dust out of their neighbor’s eye. Both people involved in a conflict can allow their emotions, sins or their agenda to get in the way of communicating. Sometimes we are the one with the log in our eye. We all need God’s Mercy and to repent something! We need to ask ourselves, “What do I need to repent?”.
Seeking God’s Mercy and Help is Essential
We need to examine ourselves in God’s presence and seek God’s peace, truth, forgiveness and love. There is not any condemnation to those in Christ Jesus. We should pray for the healing of our adversary as we would want to be prayed for. Sometimes we need to get out of the way as God deals with one of His children. There cannot be real peace until both parties seek God to repent and receive His Mercy. We only need to be accountable for our part, so we can stand before God blameless and unashamed. There is healing and peace for those of us who repent honestly and seek God.
Pray For God’s Purpose and Glory
Lord God Almighty, sanctify me in Your Holiness and help me to come to You honestly through Christ Jesus in peace. These battles in Your Kingdom between Your children belong to You. Have mercy on me as I come to You to repent my part in a relationship conflict. Jesus, I want to live in Love and Peace among our people. I cannot do this on my own and I need Your help and mercy. Open my blind eyes and lead me in paths of righteousness for Your Namesake. We are all called to walk in love and peace according to Your purpose. Father of Love, give me a humble and teachable Spirit. Please heal my wounds as I seek Your forgiveness and mercy. Help me forgive myself and anyone I am in conflict with. Help me walk in the Fruits of Your Holy Spirit with Your beloved Son. I ask these same blessings for the people I have conflict with as I lift them up to You now. Lord God Almighty be glorified as You answer this prayer in Christ Jesus’ Holy Name. Amen.