The Brooding Messiah

Personal Time With God

During a time in my life, while working on Spiritual Growth, I learned I could use my imagination to grow closer to God. I began to work on a personal relationship with the Lord God Almighty. He is one God: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. I enjoy spending time just being with God.

Our Prayer Room

I found that because I was a Christian and had the indwelling Holy Spirit that I could boldly approach the Throne of God (Romans 8:15-16, Hebrews 4:12:16). I found a greater inner peace than I had ever known before in the evening as I settled into bed and approached the small prayer room that I knew as the Throne of God so I could spend time with the Father God and Jesus the Messiah.

This Throne Room was a small private prayer room with a Throne where The Father and The Son of God would sit and spend time with me. I felt called to reason with God after reading Isaiah 1:18-19. It was a process that helped me define my faith and relationship I was building with God. I still had regular prayers during the day. However, The Throne Room prayers were more about just being with God. I see it as a long distance Zoom type of Spiritual Meeting. I would discuss with God what had been on my mind that day.

I would eventually fall asleep as I relaxed, listened and learned with God. I found this nightly ritual very comforting and it helped me sleep healthier than I had in years. Unfortunately, when I started to see it as a means to better sleep each night instead of the relationship building prayer as God intended, I had to stop doing in at bed time. I had to wait until the mornings when I was wide awake to enter the Throne Room Meeting.

Not What I Expected

One night, I went to bed as usual and wanted to spend time with God in the Throne Room. God the Father was sitting on the Throne all alone. The Messiah was missing. I walked up the steps to the Throne and crawled upon the large magnificent Throne. I felt uncomfortable that Jesus was missing. The Father full of love pulled me closer giving me a big hug and deposited me comfortably beside Him just under His large arm. I felt warm, comfortable and loved. Yet, it bothered me that Jesus was not there with us. Jesus was after all the reason I could approach God as His child and I knew from Romans 8:17 that I was only a joint-heir because of the Messiah.

I asked our Father, “Where is Jesus?”. God pointed towards the Edge of Heaven and there stood Jesus looking broodingly into the Abyss called Earth. At least it felt to me as if He was looking into an Abyss. Jesus stood there doing nothing. I could tell from the emotionless expression on His face that He was not happy. I called to Him, but He did not respond to me at all.

I Was Feeling Anxious

Jesus was ignoring me and I began to speculate wildly on what might be bothering Him. I wondered what I could do to help Him. I love Jesus and it bothered me to see Him unhappy. I always enjoyed coming to visit with Him because I could always see a smile and some degree of delight in His eyes. It was very upsetting to see Him so unhappy. I even began to wonder if I had done something wrong. Could Jesus be angry or disappointed in me?

I turned and looked at God the Father and asked Him what was wrong? However, His attitude changed drastically when I asked about Jesus. The Father seemed uninterested in His Son’s attitude and was actually ignoring His Son. I was shocked. Had They argued about something? I tried to think of all of the possible reasons They might be arguing. I could only think of one thing it might be. Did Jesus want to go get all of His people and God the Father was not ready to give the command, “Go get my Children!”.

I did not know what to do or how to help. I was so worried because I knew I was powerless to help. Even my prayers would be useless without a willing God to make them bear fruit. I could think of nothing that would comfort Jesus or help the apparent rift between Him and His Father. I was still worried as I fell asleep.

The Jesus I Know

I awoke the next morning and something still felt wrong in Heaven. I again started trying to figure out what might be wrong with Jesus and our Father. I wanted to help, to make things better. I wanted Them Both to be happy and loving again. Then I heard myself say, “Wait, this is not the Jesus I know.” As soon as I realized this, Jesus turned to look at me and smiled. I realized that God the Father had been in on this too. I could feel in my spirit that He had an even bigger smile than Jesus. I realized this was going to be another “Relax, Listen, Learn” moment.

First of All

God made it clear that He is not holding back the commandment to “Go get My Children”. He made it clear that He is not a control freak. God is holding back the commandment because He does not want anyone, not even one person to miss out on the Wedding of Christ to His Bride, the Church. God brought to my mind Revelations 19:9 to remind me that all of God’s Children are invited. God is still waiting on the last “Yes” answer. Once He gets the very last yes, He will give the commandment.

Second of All

Jesus knows this and also does not want anyone to miss out on the Wedding. Jesus is actually sitting on the Throne of God and is constantly making arrangements and atonement for His people. He also has an active and loving personal relationship with each Child of God through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, as does the Father. They love us each as if we are Their only child. The Father, Son and Holy Spirit are always in agreement.

Finally, I Get It

The Lord God Almighty is Holy and does not have any human frailties. They do not have frailties that would cause Them to argue and ignore Their children, just because They were in a bad mood. They are the Trinity and yet They are ONE God. That sometimes is hard to understand because of my humanness. The Messiah does not brood or pout like a child. The Father doesn’t ignore any of His children and dismiss their feelings. God is one God, and He is a loving God.

Prayer and God’s Word

The Lord God Almighty is in an active loving relationship with any child of God that wants to spend time with Him. He is just a prayer away. We only need to focus on God. We only need to seek Him in Prayer and through His inspired Word, The Bible. He reminded me through Ephesians 1:35 that through Christ we have been adopted and given every spiritual blessing. He reminded me through Matthew 5:18 that the Bible is His Holy Word.

When we focus on God we need to be honest and tell Him whatever is on our hearts and minds. God can handle any and all of our emotions and thoughts. God will help us discuss every thought and concern. Even when we are mad at Him. Through the Salvation of Jesus the Christ and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit we can have a personal relationship with God. After we have poured out our hearts to God, we can Relax, Listen and Learn from God. He is willing to help us understand things from His perspective because He loves us unconditionally.

Digging Deeper

I felt God wanted me to write out what I experienced so He could continue teaching me something I did not understand yet. I hesitated a little. I did not realize at first why I was hesitating. It was because deep down inside of me I was afraid that God did not want me to come to the Throne Room anymore to sit with Jesus and the Father. I always knew I was only allowed to come to the Throne Room because of the Grace I have through Jesus the Christ. That is what God wanted me to face. I felt unworthy because I had not earned the privileged on my own. I subconsciously had the feelings of unworthiness and I was subconsciously afraid I might do something so bad that I would get kicked out of Heaven. God wants me to understand I am worthy not on my own right, but because Jesus the Christ makes me worthy. If God says we are worthy, then we are worthy. Case closed.

Jesus also wanted me to see I am also still a little bit afraid of the authority and power of God the Father. God does not want me to hold back in fear. He wants to replace my fear with His perfect love. Jesus wants to remove the lies and half truths that keep me from having an even better relationship with God. God wants me to get the blessing He has for all of His Children that comes from having a close personal relationship with God.

Focus on God

Lord God Almighty, sanctify me through Your Holy Spirit to boldly come to You now in truth, spirit and in love through Jesus the Christ of God. Please continue to remove and replace with truth any lies or half-truths that I believe that keep me from getting the blessing of a personal relationship with You. Help me experience the essence of You by being Christ Centered daily. Clothe me in the righteousness of the Messiah. Holy Spirit, rise up within me and clothe me in the Armour of God so that I will pray according to God’s Will for all of His People. Praise You Holy Father for making us all worthy through the one-time willing sacrifice of Your Son. Lord God Almighty be glorified in all the World because of who You are. Amen.